I know many of us have been in situations where we had to say some things to someone or ones and be honest and firm, but at the same time we didn’t want to come across as mean or rude. I had to learn this over the years and am still a work in progress…..Say what you mean and mean what you say, but don’t be mean when you say it.
Ask yourself what you would say if you weren’t worried about being right or about reaction. You may be editing your words according to what you think they can handle, and not even realize it.
Edit your words to make them more specific. Be concrete. Give examples. Illustrate your point.
Ask yourself what result you want from speaking up. Be results oriented. Tell them what you want them to do with the information.
Edit your words to target them toward the result you want. Check what you plan to say to make sure your words are the most likely words to get you the results you want.
Edit your words for blame and emotional reaction. Lots of words can be emotional triggers that get them to stop listening. Always and never are examples.
Speak up – say what you mean and meaning what you say without being mean when you say it. Just go ahead and do it.
When you say what you mean, be sure you mean what you say. If you make a strong claim and back down at the first sign of resistance, your words will lose their power and impact.
It’s okay to put your best foot forward – just not a “false front.”Put yourself in your listeners shoes. If someone said what you were going to say to you, would you think they were being mean?
If you have a habit of “faking it” or “making nice,” Being reasonably assertive will feel strange for you.Keep checking back with yourself to make sure you’re not saying what you think they want to hear. Be honest. Keep it 100%.